February,
2003
Coaching
Mastery News is a monthly newsletter for professionals committed
to excellence in coaching.
Each issue focuses on a theme that emerges in coaching relationships. What questions or issues would you like
to see addressed in Coaching Mastery News? Email your suggestions
to Lisa@livingwithintention.com. Your feedback and questions are greatly
appreciated. If
you wish to share this newsletter with your network, please pass
it along! If you would like to unsubscribe, simply
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--
Lisa Kramer
Self-Management
in the Coaching Relationship
Part
II
This month I had the privilege of providing coach training to a wonderful group of internal coaches at a health care facility. These coaches were a joy to work with because of their commitment to their work, their openness to learning and their willingness to take risks throughout the training program. The theme of self-management came up at different points during the training. Here are just a few examples: One coach discussed feeling defensive with a client who questioned his coaching credentials by asking "what qualifies you to coach me?" Another coach talked about how difficult it was to NOT be the expert with all the answers. She would move quickly to suggesting solutions to the client rather than asking questions or brainstorming possible options with the client. A third coach experienced difficulty staying fully present when a client raised a coaching issue that really hit home for the coach. Each of these situations provided the coaches with a rich opportunity to process what was triggered for them that made it difficult to self-manage, to set their "Selves" aside and be fully present for the client.
How can coaches self-manage effectively when something gets triggered for them while coaching a client?
v First,
identify the trigger. There
are a variety of triggers that can interfere with our ability to
be fully present. These
include the examples mentioned above as well as others including:
an issue raised by your client that has an emotional charge for
you; a judgment you make about your client based on something you
are hearing; an environmental distraction such as your baby crying
in another room or an interruption during a coaching call; a lingering
uneasiness from a coaching call with another client that same day.
v Without
getting hooked by the trigger, simply make a mental note of it and
set it aside for the moment so that you can get back to your client. If it is difficult to set the trigger
aside, let your client know you were distracted by something and
ask the client to repeat him/herself.
This models authenticity for your client.
After all, clients usually know if their coach has "checked
out" so it is better to admit when this happens than to pretend
you heard everything the client said.
v Following
the call, give yourself time to get clear about the situation. Remember, this is a rich opportunity for
learning that will serve to make you an even better coach so take
advantage of it! You
might want do some journaling, self-coaching, or go for a walk. Perhaps there is a coaching colleague
you can call to discuss the situation.
Some questions to ask yourself are: What got in the way? How might I handle the situation differently
next time? What have I learned about myself as a result of this
experience?
v Decide
what action, if any, you want to take in response to what you have
discovered. Is there
something more you wish to say to your client?
Is there a plan you want to implement to assist yourself
in self-management in the future?
What will help you to feel complete right now?
*Whitworth,
Laura, Henry Kimsey-House and Phil Sandahl. Co-Active
Coaching,
*Flaherty,
James. Coaching:
Evoking Excellence in Others,
COACHING
MASTERY UPDATE
Here's
what one participant had to say about her recent group experience:
"In
only three sessions with my Coaching Mastery group, I have increased
my 'coaching confidence' 10-fold, and my clients have noticed the
difference! The group, guided by Lisa Kramer's masterful facilitation
and spot-on questioning, is a forum in which I can develop and test
my coaching approaches, flex my strengths, strategize with other
coaches, and have my blind spots gently revealed to me through the
coaching of my colleagues. I've made a huge leap into a being a
more daring, creative, relaxed and genuine coach and because of
that, my clients have made leaps too."
Colleen Bracken, MCB & Associates www.mcbcoaching.com
Are
you curious about Coaching Mastery? Interested in a complimentary
individual Coaching Mastery session?
Contact Lisa Kramer at (610) 527-4511 or lisa@livingwithintention.com
Upcoming
Events in the
Lisa
Kramer will be leading a panel discussion at the
Copyright
© 2002.
Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute the Coaching
Mastery? News as long as nothing is added, changed, or deleted,
and this copyright notice is attached. The author is Lisa Kramer,
Living with Intention Coaching, Training and Coaching Mastery? www.livingwithintention.com
