March, 2004

Coaching Mastery News is a monthly newsletter for professionals committed to excellence in coaching. Each issue focuses on a theme that emerges in coaching relationships. What questions or issues would you like to see addressed in Coaching Mastery News? Email your suggestions to Lisa@livingwithintention.com. Your feedback and questions are greatly appreciated. If you wish to share this newsletter with your network, please pass it along! If you would like to unsubscribe, simply send me an email with unsubscribe CMN in the subject line.


 
-Lisa Kramer

 

Self-Management (revisited)

This month’s issue of Coaching Mastery News revisits an important coaching topic, Self-Management. We all have coaching conversations when we get distracted and are no longer focused on the client. Do you know what triggers cause you to lose focus? How do you return you attention back to the client? Self-management is an ongoing process of self-discovery and learning for the coach. It requires coaches to be conscious of the moments in their coaching when they are fully present with their clients and when they are not---when they get distracted.

Coaching Mastery Fact: Self-Management is an important element of Coaching Presence, a core coaching competency defined by the International Coach Federation

 

What are some triggers that cause coaches to become distracted during a coaching conversation?

  • The client’s situation mirrors the coach’s
  • The client says something that ‘hooks’ the coach, resulting in a judgmental reaction
  • The client raises an issue that the coach is not comfortable exploring
  • The coach feels ineffective in his coaching style
  • There is an environmental distraction such as a knock on the door, a barking dog or a crying child
  • The coach has a residual response to a previous event such as an argument, some unexpected news or a sleepless night

The good news is that coaches can train themselves to quickly set aside a distraction and return their attention back to the client. Setting aside a distraction requires an ability to observe oneself. When we observe ourselves, we are present to our thoughts, feelings and sensations without judging them. During a coaching conversation, you can observe yourself ‘in-the-moment’ when you are distracted. Doing so allows you to shift your attention back to the client.

Here’s an example from a recent Coaching Mastery group:
Coach Sue, an experienced coach with a successful coaching business, had been coaching Joe, a senior vice president at a pharmaceutical company, for six months. According to Sue, Joe made significant changes during the course of the coaching relationship. At the end of the six months, he decided to renew the contract for an additional six months. While Sue was pleased that Joe was benefiting from their coaching relationship, she questioned her value as a coach with him.

In discussing the situation with the group, Sue realized that she felt intimidated by Joe. His behavior was brusque at meetings, and she experienced him as a ‘bully’ with some of his staff. The brusqueness sometimes carried over into their coaching sessions, causing Sue to feel ineffective. She made a connection between Joe’s behavior and that of her former boss with whom she had a contentious relationship. Sue felt powerless to assert herself with her boss and eventually resigned from her position. This awareness enabled her to get clear about the difference between her relationships with Joe and her boss. To reinforce this awareness, Sue noticed when her feelings of intimidation were triggered during her coaching sessions with Joe. She then took a breath and reminded herself to return her attention back to her client.

How can coaches self-manage effectively when they are distracted while coaching a client?

    • Without getting hooked by the trigger, simply make a mental note of it and set it aside for the moment so that you can get back to your client. If it is difficult to set the trigger aside, let your client know you were distracted and ask the client to repeat him/herself. This models authenticity. After all, clients usually know if their coach has ‘checked out’ so it is better to admit when this happens than to pretend you heard everything the client said.
    • Following the call, give yourself time to get clear about the situation. Remember, this is a rich opportunity for learning that will serve to make you an even better coach so take advantage of it! You might want do some journaling, self-coaching, or go for a walk. Perhaps there is a colleague you can call to discuss the situation. Some questions to ask yourself are: What got in the way? How might I handle the situation differently next time? What have I learned about myself as a result of this experience?
    • Decide what action, if any, you want to take in response to what you have discovered. Is there something more you wish to say to your client? Is there a plan you want to implement to self-manage more effectively in the future?

COACHING MASTERY UPDATE

A masterful coach lives inside of you. You’ve experienced being ‘in the zone’ during a coaching conversation when time stands still, and you and your client connect on a deeper level. You’ve also had coaching conversations that require more effort. Perhaps you get distracted by something your client says, or an event in your own life interferes with your ability to be fully present with your client. You hang up the phone, and the masterful coach inside of you asks, “how could I handle that differently next time?”

Coaching Mastery™ explores important questions and challenges that arise for coaches in their coaching relationships. Coaching Mastery telegroups, facilitated by Lisa Kramer, an experienced coach and veteran coach training teleclass leader, provides coaches with a safe learning environment to further develop their coaching excellence.
You will leave with a clear affirmation of what you already know as well as creative ideas and strategies that will inspire you to try something new with your clients.

Here’s what one participant had to say about her recent experience in the Winter 2004 group:

“I have long known Lisa Kramer to be a seasoned, caring, and effective coach. I have also known her to be an engaging and enjoyable teleclass leader. But now I know, perhaps, one of the more important reasons that Lisa is here on the Planet. Lisa is an incredibly sensitive and honoring "Master" of the Coaching Mastery process. She brings coaches together to explore the nature of the craft...she handles the coaching situations as the art forms that they are...and she responds quickly to the changing rhythms of the sessions. I highly recommend her Coaching Mastery to everyone who is ready to move deeper inside this artful and wonderful profession".
Flo Schell, http://www.floschell.com/pages/1/index.htm

Coaching Mastery Level I and Level II telegroups for Spring, 2004:

Level I: This group is best suited for professionals who have been coaching for 18 months or less. You may currently be in a coach training program or recently completed one. Level I coaches are stepping into their professional identity as coach and are focused on gaining confidence and competence in their coaching skills and style of coaching.

The Level I group will meet on SIX Mondays beginning on May 3 from 8-9 pm EST (no group on 5/31).

Level II: Level II is for coaches who have been actively coaching for at least two years, who are working with several clients at a given time and have completed coach training. Level II coaches are confident in their coaching, and they are focused on being masterful at their craft.

The Level II group will meet on SIX Mondays, April 12, 19, and 26, May 10, 17, 24 from 2-3 pm EST.

Investment - $250
Includes handouts, class notes and exercises

Curious about Coaching Mastery? Interested in a complimentary individual Coaching Mastery session? Contact Lisa Kramer at (610) 527-4511 or lisa@livingwithintention.com

Upcoming Events:

April 17, 2004: Business Success Partnerships - The Power of Two
Led by Lisa Kramer and Colleen Bracken
Philadelphia Area Coaches Alliance Coaching Expo, Gregg Conference Center, Bryn Mawr, PA
For more information visit:
http://www.coachingexpo.com/presenters.htm

May 4, 2004: Social Work Summit
Sponsored by the Widener University Center for Social Work Education, Chester, PA

June 7 - August 2, 2004: Relationship Coaching with Couples
Led by Lisa Kramer
Institute for Life Coach Training Advanced Coaching Class Do you coach couples or are you looking to expand your coaching practice to include couples? This eight-week telecourse will provide you with a coaching model and structure for working with couples who want to create more fulfilling relationships in their lives. For more information visit:
http://lifecoachtraining.com/courses/advanced/course_descriptions/coaching_applications/descriptions.shtml

 

Copyright © 2004. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute the Coaching Mastery™ News as long as nothing is added, changed, or deleted, and this copyright notice is attached. The author is Lisa Kramer, Living with Intention Coaching, Training and Coaching Mastery™ www.livingwithintention.com