December, 2002 

Welcome to the first issue of Coaching Mastery News, a monthly newsletter for professionals committed to excellence in coaching.  Each issue will focus on a theme that emerges in coaching relationships.  I value your feedback and questions so feel free to email me at any time.  If you wish to share this newsletter with your network, please pass it along!  If you would like to unsubscribe, simply send me an email with unsubscribe CMN in the subject line. 

Happy and Healthy Holidays to you and your loved ones!       
   -- Lisa Kramer 

Listening without Judgment

What does it mean to listen without judgment? 

In coaching, we refer to listening without judgment as being in 'charge neutral'.  But is being in charge neutral truly possible for coaches all of the time?  In a recent coaching mastery group, one participant raised an example of a client he was working with who constantly viewed the cup as half empty, despite her many accomplishments and successes.  From the coach's perspective, the client was "whining", and this irritated the coach.  The coach decided to tell the client how he experienced her.  According to the coach, the relationship was never quite the same.  In processing this situation with the group, the coach became clear about how he was judging the client as a "whiner".  Something was triggered in him in response to the perceived whining that had nothing to do with the client.  The result was a breakdown in the relationship.  After discussing the situation with the group, the coach better understood how his emotional reaction to the client interfered with his ability to be in charge neutral, and left the client feeling judged. 

Clients invite us to share our observations with them.  In fact, that is part of what they hire us to do.  However there are times when we have difficulty being in charge neutral when making an observation because the subject matter triggers something within us.  In the above example, the coach judged the client for not feeling grateful for all she had in her life.  Had he been able to separate himself from the client, he could have provided her with a rich opportunity for deeper self-exploration. 

How can coaches be effective in situations where they find themselves judging their clients?

v   First, it is important to be aware when you are judging a client.  Judgments are easy to recognize because they evoke an emotional reaction for the coach, such as irritation in the above example.  This reaction has to do with the coach, not the client. 

v      Second, know that this reaction is an opportunity for you to learn something more about yourself.  As human beings, we are always in the process of learning about ourselves.  Rather than judging yourself for judging your client, see this as an opportunity for greater understanding that will help you become a masterful coach. 

v      Third, seek out an objective sounding board to help you get clear about the judgment such as a mentor coach or coaching peer group.  Seeking support from trusted colleagues can be empowering and energizing! 

v      Finally, decide how you want to move forward in your relationship with your client.  Once you have clarity about the situation and your reaction to it, the judgment is released and you are able to proceed in a way that will best serve your client.  Everyone wins!

COACHING MASTERY GROUP UPDATE

Coaching Mastery telegroups, facilitated by Lisa Kramer, an experienced coach and veteran coach training teleclass leader, provides coaches with a safe learning environment to further develop their coaching excellence. 

Participants get great value from gathering with other coaches to discuss important themes and challenges that emerge in their coaching relationships.  Here's what one participant had to say about her recent group experience:

"I joined Coaching Mastery as an experiment, as I was not convinced that there would be substantial value in it for me. Well, I knew after one session that there was huge value! And in only three sessions with my Coaching Mastery group, I have increased my "coaching confidence" 10-fold, and my clients have noticed the difference! The group, guided by Lisa Kramer's masterful facilitation and spot-on questioning, is a forum in which I can develop and test my coaching approaches, flex my strengths, strategize with other coaches, and have my blind spots gently revealed to me through the coaching of my colleagues. I've made a huge leap into a being a more daring, creative, relaxed and genuine coach and because of that, my clients have made leaps too." 

Colleen Bracken, MCB & Associates  www.mcbcoaching.com

Coaching Mastery Level I and Level II telegroups are beginning in January, 2003.  The fee is $125.

Level I:  This group is best suited for professionals who have been coaching for a year or less.  The group provides structure and support to assist you in gaining confidence and clarity in your coaching relationships.

The Level I group will meet on Tuesday, January 14, 21 and 28 from 8 - 9pm EST.

Level II:  This group is best suited for more experienced coaches who are looking to raise the bar and take their coaching to the next level.  The Level II group will meet on Wednesday, January 13, 20 and 27 from 5 - 6pm EST.

Interested in Coaching Mastery?  Contact Lisa Kramer at (610) 527-4511 or lisa@livingwithintention.com

Copyright © 2002. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute the Coaching MasteryT News as long as nothing is added, changed, or deleted, and this copyright notice is attached. The author is Lisa Kramer, Living with Intention Coaching, Training and Coaching MasteryT www.livingwithintention.com