The initial coaching session, often referred to as the intake or discovery session, represents a new beginning in any coaching relationship. It establishes the foundation for the relationship and sets a tone of mutual responsibility for coach and client. There is a delicate balance between following a prescribed agenda that you, the coach, bring to the session and being fully present with your client and the direction he/she wants to go. This balance is an aspect of designing the coaching alliance; customizing the relationship to create the conditions that will allow each client to achieve optimal results from the coaching.

The process of designing the alliance in relationship coaching is quite different from working with individual clients. Regardless of the type of relationship---be it a marriage, a business partnership, or even a parent/child relationship---the coach must establish a connection with two people simultaneously. The manner in which the coach engages the clients/partners sets the stage for a coaching relationship that is based on mutual respect and trust, and that encourages each person to become more aware, to take risks and to move forward in the direction that will serve the greater good of the relationship.

There are certain key ingredients for coaches to consider in order to successfully design the alliance in relationship coaching.

Coaching Mastery Illustration
Beth and Bob hired Diane for relationship coaching because they were experiencing difficulty with the way they related about finances. They were basically satisfied with their relationship and felt that their difference regarding finances was beginning to affect other areas of the relationship. During the initial meeting, Diane was aware that Bob tended to answer her questions while Beth sat back and was fairly quiet and reserved. She also noticed that when Beth did respond to a question, Bob interrupted her and finished her statement. Beth appeared quite comfortable with this, and she showed no outward reaction to Bob’s interruptions. Since this was her first meeting with the couple, in designing the alliance, Diane chose not to raise her observations, but simply made a mental note of them. In setting the foundation, she educated the couple about the process of relationship coaching, including the responsibility of each person in contributing to a successful outcome.

Question to consider: What might have been the impact on the coaching relationship if Diane had raised her observations with Beth and Bob in the initial meeting?

* This article was adapted from Living with Intention: A Guide to Relationship Coaching by Lisa Kramer
**To request a Welcome Packet for relationship coaching, send an email to lisa@livingwithintention.com

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Announcing the Loving with Intention Partners Project

Experience the power of relationship coaching to create an extraordinary relationship. During the months of June, July and August, Lisa Kramer is offering sample relationship coaching sessions to couples and business partners (and couples who are also business partners) who want to create a vision for their relationship. To schedule a sample relationship coaching session, contact Lisa at (610) 527-4511 or lisa@livingwithintention.com Included in the coaching session is a relationship wheel to assist in creating a relationship vision. Please share this with couples and business partners who would benefit from this service. Thank you!

Loving with Intention: A Guide for Relationship Coaching
by Lisa Kramer

A ground-breaking approach to working with couples!

Loving with Intention, the second book in the Coaching Mastery™ series, is for coaches, counselors & therapists, marriage educators and clergy who are interested in learning more about the growing niche of relationship coaching.
For more information and to order a copy, go to: www.livingwithintention.com

Relationship coaching has emerged as an important process for couples who want to create conscious and loving relationships. Lisa Kramer‘s Conscious Relationship Coaching Model™ described in Loving with Intention combines well thought out theory with a “heart and soul“ approach to working with couples. I highly recommend it!
Patrick Williams, EdD, MCC
CEO, Institute for Life Coach Training
www.lifecoachtraining.com

“Loving with Intention offers coaches and therapists an enriching new approach for working with couples from a coaching perspective. Building on Imago relationship theory, Lisa has developed a fabulous model to assist couples to achieve the relationship of their dreams. Lisa uses her excellent writing skills, her obvious depth of knowledge and great examples to guide the reader towards the development of relationship coaching skills. As a therapist and coach who works extensively with couples, Loving with Intention has greatly enhanced my skills and confidence in my work with couples.“
Michelle Bihary
Managing Director, The Delta Centre
Melbourne, Australia
www.thedeltacentre.com.au

Available in e-book or printed copy. Order your copy today!

Cost : $24.95 plus s & h