Newsletter

Summer, 2006 Coaching Mastery News is a monthly newsletter for professionals committed to excellence in coaching. Each issue focuses on a theme that emerges in coaching relationships. What questions or issues would you like to see addressed in Coaching Mastery News? Email your suggestions to lisa@livingwithintention.com. Your feedback and questions are greatly appreciated. If you wish to share this newsletter with your network, please pass it along! -Lisa Kramer

*Assessing Readiness for Relationship Coaching* Couples who are good candidates for relationship coaching want to enhance their relationship by focusing on particular areas such as communication, parenting, romance and sexual intimacy, transitions such as ‘the empty nest’, finances, and work/life balance. Ideally, the relationship has a solid foundation based on love, mutual respect, trust and commitment. When a couple contacts me to inquire about relationship coaching services, the first question I ask is, “what prompted the call?” I then listen for whether the couple is ready for coaching. Coaching readiness includes the following indicators: Motivation: Couples who are ready for coaching have a sense of what they want (even if they are not yet crystal clear), are motivated to achieve their relationship goals, and are optimistic that they can achieve their goals with assistance from an outside professional. Focus on Strengths: While they may be in the midst of a challenging time in their relationship, couples who are ready for coaching recognize the strengths in their relationship. They are also able to see the challenge as an opportunity to learn, to grow and to deepen the intimacy in the relationship. Responsibility: Both partners accept responsibility for their part in making changes in the relationship. They do not blame each other for what is taking place, and they recognize that they each are responsible for creating a stronger, more satisfying relationship. Openness to Listening and to Being Coached: Couples who are ready for coaching are open to truly listening to each other, and to granting full permission to their coach to engage them in a coaching relationship. Desire to Move Forward: Couples who are ready for coaching are not holding onto disappointments or frustrations from the past. They are eager to create a vision for their relationship and to actively move forward to make the vision a reality. In addition to listening for the presence of some or all of these indicators, I may also request that each partner complete a brief assessment* that I have developed to determine coaching readiness. And I allow my intuition to guide me in determining the goodness-of-fit between me and the couple. There are times when a red flag serves to warn me that this couple may be better served by a therapist. On other occasions, I may refer them to another professional who specializes in the area they wish to address such as a financial planner or parent educator. The Couple - Martin and Diane Martin, age 45, works as an investment banker. Diane, also 45, is a full-time homemaker. They have been married for 20 years, and they recently became ‘empty-nesters’ when their son left for college away from home. Recently Diane decided to pursue a life long dream of working in an art gallery. Martin is not at all happy about this. He has viewed Diane as his sounding board, confidant, traveling companion and social organizer throughout their marriage. He is worried that her work will take time away from him and what he has been accustomed to in their relationship. In addition, Martin believes that he has given Diane everything she could possibly want, and he doesn’t understand why she would need to look outside the home. While Diane whole-heartedly agrees she has been well provided for, she feels somewhat stifled by her current life and wants a different type of self expression. Martin and Diane have decided to seek professional help to address this conflict in their relationship. They recognize that they have never learned effective ways to communicate with each other when there is a conflict. The magnitude of the issue they are now confronting has led them to seek professional help. The question** – Are Martin and Diane ready for coaching? *The Coach’s Response* This couple is clearly confronting a challenging time in their relationship. They are in the midst of transition with their only child away at college and with Diane’s desire to pursue a lifelong professional dream. Coaching can be the ideal vehicle to assist them in moving forward. Through coaching, Diane and Martin can clarify what they want in this stage of their lives, personally and in partnership with one another. They can also learn new ways to communicate, particularly around areas of conflict. * For a copy of the assessment, email me at lisa@livingwithintention.com Stay tuned for the next month’s newsletter on the distinctions between relationship coaching and couples’ therapy Announcing a ground-breaking approach to working with couples! Loving with Intention: A Guide for Relationship Coaching by Lisa Kramer Loving with Intention, the second book in the Coaching Mastery™ series, is for coaches, counselors & therapists, marriage educators and clergy who are interested in learning more about the growing niche of relationship coaching. For more information go to: http://www.livingwithintention.com “Relationship coaching has emerged as an important process for couples who want to create conscious and loving relationships. Lisa Kramer‘s Conscious Relationship Coaching Model™ described in Loving with Intention combines well thought out theory with a “heart and soul“ approach to working with couples. I highly recommend it!” Patrick Williams, EdD, MCC CEO , Institute for Life Coach Training Co-author: Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and Techniques to Enhance Your Practice and Your Life “Loving with Intention offers coaches and therapists an enriching new approach for working with couples from a coaching perspective. Building on Imago relationship theory, Lisa has developed a fabulous model to assist couples to achieve the relationship of their dreams. Lisa uses her excellent writing skills, her obvious depth of knowledge and great examples to guide the reader towards the development of relationship coaching skills. As a therapist and coach who works extensively with couples, Loving with Intention has greatly enhanced my skills and confidence in my work with couples.“ Michelle Bihary Managing Director, The Delta Centre Melbourne, Australia www.thedeltacentre.com.au Available in e-book or printed copy. Order your copy today! Cost : $24.95 plus s & h For more information go to: http://www.livingwithintention.com Upcoming Events in 2006** September 11: Relationship Coaching - Maintaining the Coaching Paradigm ICF Coaching and Psychotherapists Communities SIG Hosted by Tom Krapu, presented by Lisa Kramer Bridge line: 801-828-9904 PIN: 6517724 - 2pm EST September 12: Loving with Intention – Creating Extraordinary Relationships Led by Lisa and Eric Kramer The Synergy Club: Exton, Pennsylvania This seminar is ideal for individuals and couples who want to experience a deeper connection with their partner but aren’t quite sure how. Lisa and Eric bring their humor, wisdom and learning from their 25-year relationship combined with lots of experience working with couples in all stages of their relationships. For more information, go to: www.synergyclub.com September 19 – November 7: Relationship Coaching with Couples Led by Lisa Kramer, Faculty Institute for Life Coach Training - Advanced Coaching Class Do you coach couples or are you looking to expand your coaching practice to include couples? This eight-week teleclass will provide you with a coaching model and structure for working with couples who want to create more fulfilling relationships in their lives. For more information visit: Click Here Free Introductory Call: August 21 at 1pm EST or August 28 at 3pm EST To register, email Lisa Kramer at lisa@livingwithintention.com Here’s what one participant has to say about the teleclass: "Lisa Kramer's teleclass on Relationship Coaching for Couples is the most comprehensive and well-designed class I've ever taken as a coach. She models excellence in coaching while she is facilitating the class. Her supporting materials, including the guidebook she wrote along with handouts to give clients, are superb. Equally important, the field works assignments she mandates as part of the class truly helped me quite rapidly build competence in coaching couples. Learning from Lisa has been one of best coaching investments." --Gail Kauranen Jones, personal and business coach specializing in transition Professional Empowerment from the Inside Out Led by Lisa Kramer Dec 1: Bryn Mawr College Graduate School of Social Work Continuing Education Series For more information visit: Click Here Listen to Lisa Kramer’s interview on ‘Guide to Self Radio’– Injecting Passion into Your Relationship http://www.guidetoself.com/interviews.htm NOTE: Living with Intention, LLC is making some changes to better serve our clients. As a subscriber to Coaching Mastery News, you will receive an email later this month requesting you to opt-in to receive future issues. If you wish to continue receiving emails from Living with Intention, LLC please follow the instructions to remain on the mailing list. Thank You! Copyright © 2006. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute the Coaching Mastery™ News as long as nothing is added, changed, or deleted, and this copyright notice is attached. The author is Lisa Kramer, Living with Intention Coaching, Training and Coaching Mastery™ www.livingwithintention.com